Rosa the Angel and the Shameless Plea

My friend Rosa has taken to appearing, like an angel, at times I am feeling alone. I have mentioned Rosa before. She is the older woman that took me on a nature walk and then to her home to overfeed me lunch on my first day here in Otranto. From the photos of her children and grandchildren I guess her age to be about 70. But a very fit 70. She, unlike my teachers and fellow students has much patience for my imperfect Italian and does not try to correct all my mistakes. We understand each other well enough.

I was sitting in the park studying yesterday and she appeared beside me on the bench. First she told me I look very beautiful... like an angel, and then she called me Madonna!. wow. My wild heart zooms back from California. Come stai? (how are you?) she asks and I told her I was not so good today. I told her I was feeling a little sad and lonely, a bit homesick and I was worried about running out of money. She said "You need to find a husband!" ha ha ha! (What is this some Catholic conspiracy to usurp the goddess AGAIN.)

She told me to follow her and at first I panicked. I did not want another stuffing, but also did not want to be rude. But she headed in the opposite direction of her home, so I followed her. She led me through the old historical part of town, down several narrow streets and up many flights of stairs till we came to a tower overlook of the city and the port I was unaware of. She said that this was a place to pray.

After some quiet moments taking in the beauty. I thanked her for showing me this place. I told her I loved Otranto and it's kind people. Then I told her that I think I am getting too old to start searching for a husband and that I might even be starting menopause soon. "BOH!" she says. You just need to eat more garlic and cipollina (bitter little onions), then I would feel better. She said more prayer would help too. I told her that we had no cipollina in America and she looked stricken. I told her I had to go home to rest and she kissed me on both cheeks "Ciao Madonna" and disappeared down a narrow street.

OKAY.

Now here is that shameless plea for money that I warned you about. It's not that I planned poorly or greatly underestimated the cost of this venture. On the contrary I came amazingly close to nailing it. But there have been a few factors... unforseen occurences that have blown my budget and made me have to appeal for a little help now. I estimated that this trip would cost a total of 12k for almost 3 months and that is exactly what I raised for making it. 3k of that would have been my running money or daily expense funds. But the unforseen occurences were this:

First several of the people I worked for either forgot to pay me, avoided paying me, or miscalculated what they owed me.. to the total of $1850. Then we had a heating gas increase that more than doubled the heating costs for Jan, Feb, and March. We had the longest coldest period on record (quote from Blue Star Gas Co. when I called crying), and I had some really ancient leaky windows in my house that needed replacing. The increase reached $800 more than heating has ever costed me for 3 months. One month the bill was $600!.

Then the debacle with British Airways losing my luggage for 12 days made me have to spend over $300 to get by till my luggage arrived. I will be joining a class action suit against the airline that is started and we may get a minimum of $5000 each. But this will take months... or even years to accomplish. So I found myself more than $3k short of my budget. I have borrowed $1500 so far hoping I could get a few people who owe me to pay up... but no luck on that so far.

I need about $1500 dollars to cover several expenses that are coming up very quickly. I have to book a flight from Bari It. to Amsterdam, soon. I have to stay in hotels for 14 days. I have to ship several boxes of things home before I leave here. And I have to repay Enzo for many cash outlays he made on my behalf, before I leave Italy. And then there is a cookbook I want/need.

I am not living high here. I go out to a cheap retaurant about once a week, unless a fellow student offers to treat. The only unforseen expense I have had has been the Internet cafe which I have had to use because my laptop was destroyed by the horrifying trip, the lost luggage outlay, and the fact the dollar fell 40 cents since I started planning this trip.

SO, if you are reading this and you are one of those people who forgot (or avoided paying me) this would be a very good time to do so.

Or , if you are one of those 25 kids I sheltered and mothered for a time, Mothers Day is coming up and this would be a great way to show me your appreciation and love.

Or, if you are one of those people who have benefitted from the 38k hours of volunteer works or the nearly 6mil in funds I raised for environmental protection and community services (EPIC, Richard's mission, KMUD, Humboldt Watershed Council, Stable Slopes, etc) in the last 12 years (without a vacation!) this would be a very good time to make a donation. I just checked I have $28 dollars left in my account, till Friday and a small amount coming in for the first week or two of May!

My account is at the Community Credit Union of Southern Humboldt. Account #7442. The website is here:
http://www.ccush.org/

I think you can make a deposit online or by phone if you have a credit card. Or you can go directly to the bank or just stop by my house and give the money to my daughters who will make a deposit for me.

I promise that if you send me a donation/gift at this time, when I return home I will invite you over and treat you to the sights, sounds, smells and flavors of Southern Italy. Or give you free pasta making lessons whichever you prefer.

Blessing: Not alone anymore! A new roomate... Josie from The Hague and she is inviting me to her home, instead of a hotel for 4 days after I leave Italy. Loes, the pressure is off for those 4 days. I can come on the 6th as originaly planned. I'll come after I leave the Hague if that works for you.

Thank You! Better go now... 3€ per hour... love u

This Ones for Roger

Oh Roger Roger Roger!

The fates be DAMNED!. I am so so sad for Joanna. Even though I did not agree with his politics. And even though he resisted or refused support for several projects I was heartily pushing forward on. I always liked Roger very much. He was irresistable cute, very talented and had a quirky sense of humor that I found very unique. I was always tickled by him anytime I heard or read about his words and actions.

He was Italian obviously with the name Rodoni. The translation of the name Rodoni is "people who adapt". Maybe his being Italian is one of the reasons I had such a soft spot in my heart for him. I realized not long ago that I have had a "thing" (how else do you say that?) for all things Italian my whole life.

I am so sad that I cannot attend Roger's memorial. I imagine there will be a hundred funny and heartwarming stories of his life at the event. I hope that someone will record these stories because I think a book about him will have to be written. Or maybe many books. I will send a card to Joanna and Family to express my condolences.

My Wild Heart keeps getting tatoos and piercings without my consent. Due to a recent piercing (still bleeding) I was trying to chain it up and get a blindfold on it. But now it is gone again to be with Joanna. When it comes back (if it comes back) I guarantee that we will tangle. Those chains, blindfold and gag too are going on. The bloodloss is too much. I fear that if I do not succeed in this effort to bind and gag it. We will die a bloody (or maybe bloodless) death together.

Curses:
- Roger's unexpected passing.
- the latest heart piercing.
- Being all alone in my apartment. Even though I was alone last night, I made a fabulous dinner of black muscles (cozza nero) rissoto and stuffed calamari. I have to stay in practice so I can make this and teach this for yall. I am becoming a pro at handling the local foods whoo hoo. I cracked a bottle of Prosecco, toasted and cried over Roger (again).

Blessings:
- I start my mosaic class tomorrow.
Tonight I will make a few sketches and try to decide on the piece I will be creating in class. Before I left home I gathered a huge number of photos of various mosaic pieces throughout history and from different cultures. I have gone around town and looked at all the mosaics here and there are many. But there is nothing in the world like the Tree of Life. My piece will probably be a sun in golds, yellows and reds with a black background. I want a piece like this to hang in the center of my home, over the hearth (the heater)... to improve the feng shui.
- Cozza nero.
- Prosecco
- Pecorino Cheese. At one of our dinner parties a two weeks ago, everyone present agreed that this cheese is the best tasting cheese in the world. It is made from sheeps milk and ooooh it is something that makes you think of... heaven. I stood down when everyone voted American cheese the worst. It is bad, but there are some stinky french cheeses that I just can't stay in the same room with lol.

Oh in regards to Cheese. There has been a quirky but at the same time tragic event going on here in Italy regarding cheese. You may have heard about this in America. They discovered that a small percentage (8%) of the Mozzarela buffala (made from water buffalo cow milk) in the region of Compagnia (near Naples) that has a higher than legal or safe level of dioxin. This is due to the mafia dumping toxic waste out on some of the farms where these buffalo graze. Because the Mozzarella industry is so important. There has been many many television shows that air discussions about the issue. And then after the experts try to convince us all that the product is safe. everyone eats gobs of the stuff on the air. Many celebrities, and talk show hosts are doing it lol, or the last 3 weeks!

I must try much harder to save money now at the internet cafe. I will try to type faster and make these updates more brief. WARNING: I still intend to post a shameless plea for money (donations/gifts) very soon. I have a huge number of expenses coming up very quickly and I have no idea how I am going to pay for them.

Did that man who just walked by blow me a kiss! HE DID! Good thing my wild heart is out of the country for now! No more tatoos or piercings I vow it!

Io vado per ora (I go for now), ti amo a tutti (i love you all).

Mammismo Vs Machismo

ciao amici,
I have had some revelations in regards to the curiosity I expressed in my first post. The Battle of the Sexes takes on a whole new meaning here in Italy! To quote my first post to this blog...

"Seems to me that on the surface it looks like the Italian women have much less freedom than American women. But I sense this underlying confidence and strength in them that could only come from being the ones really in charge... behind the scenes... for generations. I will be investigating this"

I have discovered the reason for this look of confidence! Is is called Mammismo.

Machismo.
First I want to talk about Machismo. I have known this term and it's meaning my entire life. Maybe it is because some of my oldest memories include the beginnings of feminism. I remember as a very small child seeing the bra burnings on TV and hearing the preaching of Helen Gurly Brown. Macho was just plain wrong! (But I secretly like it lol shhhhh) I remember my anger when I heard about archaic "Machismo Laws" practiced in South America where men were allowed to beat their wives with a stick no bigger than their thumb in thickness. And my outrage when I heard that men in Brazil and Argentina were getting away with murdering their adulterous wives because they just could not help their natural instinctive (and excusable!) rage that was a natural part of being a man. And then there was the song "Macho Man" made popular by the Village People. "Macho Macho man... I want to be a macho man". cute, very cute lol When I was in school if a boy showed too much attachment to his mother he was labled a "Mamma's Boy" and became the brunt of much teasing and tormenting. American boys are expected to move out of the house, earn a living and be self sufficient at the tender age of 18 years. Too young I say! There needs to be a middle ground between 18 and 40 for both American men and Italian men leaving home.

Mammismo
This is a brand new term for me. The Italian to English dictionary defines this as... Momism. wow. And the expression "Mama Mia" is defined as "oh heavens" or "good gracious". (the words "Machismo and Macho" are NOT even included in the English to Italian - Italian to English dictionaries. I checked three versions just to be sure) In the conversation part of my Italian language classes, there has been much discussion about the problems Mammismo causes. My female teachers make jokes about it, but they are dead serious about it being a problem. Here in Italy Mammismo is blamed for the fact that Italian men live at home with their mothers till they are between 30-40 years old. Then after the men marry often into their 40's much marital misery is suffered and marital bliss is interrupted by the man's mother and her demands of time and devotion from her married son. I see it in practice on the streets here too. Italian mothers dote to extremes over their spoiled little boys. lol I see the 20-30 year old boys walking down the street hand in hand or tailing after their aging mothers.

Antonella, the Italian woman from Florence that I met in New Orleans last year told me her personal horror story and warned me to beware of the Italian Mother. She said this is the reason she would never return to Italy. She said she would rather die than come back here to live. She told me the "Love of her Life" was sabotaged and finally extinguished by his mother who hated her. She said it took 5 years miserable years for the woman to accomplish this.

Maybe THAT is why Antonio avoided me after our date! I remember him mentioning that he had to help his mother get ready for bed at night. and he was 42 years old and still single! Maybe his mother said "NO Antonio! you will not be seeing that American woman again!" This does happen rarely and very covertly in America. My mother is a very strong woman and my brother who will be 53 this year still lives at home!

No my American friends and family, you do not have to worry about me marrying an Italian man and not returning home! I think of Rosa the sweet old Italian woman who took me home to overfeed me on my first day here in Otranto. Instead of referring to me as " La sola Americana bella" "the beautiful single american woman". If I had met her son first. She would have shunned me and said "Bitch! you better stay away from my son!". My daughters and other sources say Italian men make the best lovers... but I may never get the chance to know if this is true (sniff sniff). I cannot see myself wooing some old Italian woman. lol lol.

I am not asking for sympathy here... but my experiences with falling in love with 3 men in my life (well make that 4 now) have been very painful for me and resulted in much unhappiness. I do not see myself becoming a lesbian either. So maybe I will have to accept that I will have to live a life of celibacy. OH MIA DIO!

Perche, hanno uomini italiano cosi bello e cosi molto molto dolce anche? (why do italian men have to be so beautiful and so very very sweet too) BECAUSE OF THEIR MOTHERS THATS WHY!!!!
OH MAMA MIA! and I have no sons to dote on me in my old age either.

Curses:
- Mammismo!
- My wild heart. I'll just have to try harder to tame it. I cant take all this pain of falling in love over and over. Not just miseries from the men in my life! All my favorite fellow student are gone now... the separation has hurt bad, and I am all alone (tears come again) like my first week here.
- my passion. I really do have to find some drug or physical practice to kill this libido of mine. it's going to get me into trouble sooner or later I just know it. Maybe yoga?
- Near death experience. I almost got hit by a car this morning. it brushed me going way too fast. Damned narrow sidewalks! Maybe this will inspire me to finish the piece I started that is a rant about the cars and drivers here.

Blessings: i am in a terrible mood today and I had to think really hard to find a blessing.
- live Cuban Music.
- the people who have commented on my blog or sent me e-mails to let me know they are enjoying it!! I LOVE YOU! Makes the time and expense worth while to me really.

This weekend is the Italian equivalent of Memorial Day weekend. They cordoned off the streets of downtown and old town. there are bandstand all over with live music blaring. I was watching a really hot Cuban band performing last night. The lead singer was speaking Italian and singing in Spanish! Then he spotted me... the only one in the crown doing the Cha Cha. He ran out and grabbed my hand and tried to pull me up the the band stand... I resisted "NO NO I CANT DO THIS!!! (thinking of my reputation sheeesh). "OH YES YOU CAN!" he says in perfect English. So i did, go up and dance with him. Yikes, there goes my good reputation. But after I danced with the singer I did see some of the Italians starting to sing and dance along too. it was fun but I was late meeting my fellow students for dinner. Our last dinner together.

SAD SAD... All alone... real tears again....

Warning... next Update will be that SHAMELESS plea for money I was warning you about. My account is nearly dry... This blog update took me nearly 2+ hours to write up! (6€ = $10) I am not a fast typist and The Italian keyboard is much different and causes me to have to do much correction too.

missing and loving you all sooooo....

Being "Talk of the Town" Yikes!

Ciao a tutti amici,
Eeek! I was afraid this might happen. I have tried very hard to be low key too. But this is a small town and i am obviously not the average tourist. The tourists come for a day, a week or two at the most and go. I have been here almost a month now. Maybe i have been here too long lol. One of the teachers at the school told me today that everyone talks about me behind my back. As soon as she saw my expression of fear and panic, she assured me that it was all good. She said everyone loves me, respects my work for the environment (i have been preaching and picking up the trash lol), and that they are impressed with my hard work and progress in learning the language and culture too.


What a relief! I thought that i was a huge failure and was moving too slow. I said before that I was the butt of jokes for my fellow students, but today in class... it went like this.


We were working on the future tense of verbs and the teacher asks the class. So tell me what Traci will be doing in the future. What promise does the future holds for her. There is much laughter and my face turns pink. The first student says (in Italian of course). "Well in the future Traci may find the courage to speak!" More laughter and my face turns red. Next student says "Well perhaps in the future Traci will find an Italian husband and get married." More and louder laughter and my face turns even redder!. Then the next student says something like "well maybe in the future Traci will save the world". Too much laughter and my face turns purple. Next student... and so on and so on. Too much!


So far I have the reputation for:
- being funny. yikes and i am not even trying!
- being a crazy environmentalist that picks up the trash. some have even teased that maybe the city will start paying me for doing it.
- being single and looking around at all the cute Italian men. I bought some darker glasses and will try not to be so obvious in the future lol.
- having a cute dog that sings and dances. Some people have even asked to see the videos of Yota multiple times. I told my kids he would be really popular if he were to come here.
- Being a hard working serious student of the language and culture. I am obviously working all the time with my head in the books and writing writing writing... In the park, in the cafes, at the beach... everywhere.
- being loving and sensitive by crying over the beautiful and historical sights. Silly me.


I am not popular with everyone though!

I am getting some really hard looks from some of the married women. An example is the couple who own one of the internet cafes. I went in one day and the owner was wearing a sweatshirt with an American flag. I thanked him for making me feel at home and when I went downstairs to use the computers. I heard his wife yelling at him for 10 minutes about me. After that day I walked right past him and spoke to her only. She respects me now, but when she is not there, he gets all giddy and tries very hard to speak to me in english. Another side effect of getting a reputation, I am now getting approached by students who want to practice their english. I love it and I feel honored by that. wow.

Blessings:
- my fellow students. Agnes, of course (France). Rhiannon, (Australia), Giulia (Germany). Evelyn and Rene (Switzerland). George (Australia). Vim (Netherlands). My favorites. We all have one thing in common. We are all foreigners here with a deep love for Italy and the Italian language.
- Rhiannons iTunes music library. we have exchanged music libraries. She had a huge collection of fine Italian music as well as english rock and reggae i did not have too. She likes my music too.
- the Cafe di Giardini. There are 4 internet cafes in this tiny town wow. They all charge the same price, 3€ per hour. the difference is. One is in a bakery with too many temptations. One is in an electronics store that is too clean and quiet. One is in a lottery store with too many smoking loud old men. But my favorite the Cafe di Giardini is in a bar where the youth hang out and they play loud music videos on several large screens. Including rock, blues, reggae and hip hop. I love the crowd and the music.
- a 3 day weekend is coming. i will have more time to rest, update my blog and go to the beach. whooo hooo! I will still find time to study though. I want to retain every bit i can.
- The Blooming Flora. The rains these past few weeks had brought them out in mass and the smell is heavenly

Curses:
- The Blooming Flora. My scent glands may like it but my throat and eyes are itching like CRAZY!
- the students that I fall in love with keep leaving after a week or two. Like Agnes leaving last week, Rhiannon will leave this week. There is a promise that a new group of students is coming in next week. Barbara says they are all beginners and that I will no longer be lowest level student in the class. I may even be the best in class next week or 2!

An unbelievable thing here, I saw my first obese Italian this week, my first American SUV and my first American tourists. I heard their California accent from across the Caffe. They were from Long Beach California. YES i can hear the California accent now, and I did not even think we had one hahahaha.

I have half written 2 more blog updates. So to give you a little preview I will be having a rant on the cars here, a piece on the Italian architecture and I am thinking of doing... a shameless plea for money too lol. OH MY GOD!!! I want to thank all of you that have already made loans to me (Jama, Enzo, Nat ). I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU! And I want to assure you that I have many great ideas and have begun writing a plan of action to make repayment very quickly. I have money coming from British Airways and I also have a firm plan on how to pay for my tuition, apartment, flight and running expenses for next year as well. I can tell now it will take me 4-5 years to reach my goal of fluency in this beautiful language and to pick up all the great cooking techniques as well.

arrivaderci per ora cara amici!

L'Albero Della Vita - The Tree of Life

ciao a tutti,

Even though the mosaic "the Tree of Life" was one of the main reasons for choosing this particular language school in Otranto, i waited to go see it. I wanted to feel grounded, clear and strong of heart and mind for such a big event. I waited 3 weeks till I was ready. Monday afternoon we had a good group of new students at the school and Barbara Dimitri, the teacher who gives the tour was at her most animated.

I was not prepared for the impact this amazing work of art would have on me. I cried like a baby the whole time. I had to ask a fellow student for a kleenex to keep wiping my eyes and blowing my nose. I cannot describe the deep connections that I made to it, but i will try.

As Barbara explained the images and the stories and phylosophies behind them I realized that they were deeply significant to my persoanl spiritual path. The images depicted the history of civilization and included things like the usurption of the pagan traditions by the powerful roman catholic church. Many vivid images followed the rejection of the patriarchy of feminine divinity, equality, laughter, dancing, material possessions and self love.

The Greeks who were here and the Greek monk who created this masterpiece firmly believed in Astrology and integrated the symbols into it. Each month depicted an era of mans evolution as well as the astrological meanings and the routines of daily life at the times of the year. It was obvious that the Greek churches did not reject the old beliefs and melded the pagan rituals and lessons into their form of chrisianity.

One set of images that struck a cord with me in particular, was the month of August and the symbols of Leo. The images showed a snake that represented the roman catholic church eating a smiling, dancing man. Barbara explained that the (great) movie "the Name of the Rose" was about this issue. The roman church banned all books that were considered comedies as well as dancing, smiling and laughter. The book "the Comedy of Dante was a banned book, but there was a church library just outside of Otranto that contained this book as well as other books of comedy and pleasure. Eventually the Romans burned this library and had the Library keepers put to death.

Also contained within this amazing cathedral were the bones of the martyrs of the Turkish Invasion in 1420. 800 skeletons looked out with empty eyes from behind the glass walls. The very stone used to lay their heads upon was integrated into the Altar. WOW!

I cried and cried over the suffering, the history, the beauty and the crimes of the Roman chtholic church. I have never in my life seen anything so beautiful as the tree of life. Except maybe my beloved tree of life the ancient redwoods. There were many many parallels between the two. You would have to see it and touch it to believe it. Otranto hold many doors to the spirit world and this was one of the. link to a website with some awesome pics of the cathedral and Otranto.
http://www.paradoxplace.com/Perspectives/Sicily%20&%20S%20Italy/Puglia/Otranto/Otranto.htm

Blessings:

- the Tree of Life.

- the videos of Yota on my camera. I miss him so much. I watch the videos often and show them to everyone.

- The dollar is rising again. 11 cents this week! I have never been so concerned with the value of the dollar before lol.

- a gay and lesbian friendly community. I saw mention on the internet that this was the case. But i have seen many many couples both living here and as tourists. I take this to mean that this is and open minded and open hearted community. I just wish those two boys that work at the internet cafe would stop having sex nearby in the storage room while i am on the internet lol lol.

- breakthrough after breakthrouh in my studies of the language and the cooking. i have not started my mosaic classes yet.

Curses:

- hitting the wall. even though i have made breakthroughs... i am also hitting the wall over and over again when we start moving too fast in class. OOOOH the headaches. I cussed and cussed over my homework last night. today in class even the advanced student were slapping their forheads lol.

- not being able to afford to buy or carry all the ID books around with me. I want to know the names of every bird, tree, butterfly and flower!

- the hungry coyote is still tailing me. I keep turning him down... 4 times now. I wonder how many NO's it will take before he gives upo on me. i guess i will find out lol.

I better go now. I have loads of homework... but it's a sunny day and i want to go to the beach. i better get started. love you all.

Whats in a Name

Ciao a tutti amici,
Since my vocabulary of Italian words is expanding, the names of Italian Americans I know and am aware of have started to take on new meanings. This is quite funny to me sometimes so I thought I would list a few of those starting with some folks I know personally or have met.

I have met:
Donna (my mom) = a woman. Tom Botte, a childhood family friend = a barrel (and he WAS too). Agnes = a lamb (hardly). Sharon Dubbiago = the doubtful one. Lou Canavarri = a cannon. Doug Bosco = a forest or woods. Larry Capitano = the captain of the ship. Felice = happy Pace = peace. Luciano = a bright shining person. Ella = a cap. Wes and Kate Juliana (or Guiliana) = a person who makes one laugh (a clown or jester). Vince Ferrogammo = iron leg or a game played with iron, like swordplay. J. Tony Serra = a hothouse or greenhouse. Norma Malecreda = a woman with an evil oath. Bob Gagnon = not very robust (but he was!). Joey Racano = the harvester. Sonda = he/she who makes a sound. Shannon and Cassie Taglioferro = an iron cutter or a ransome paid in iron. Mercy Siciliano = a man from Sicily. Suzy and Bob Barsotti = caskets underground or a cemetary. Annie = years. Robie Tenorio = a singer, a tenor to be exact. Gil Gregori = a shepard. Tony Selvaggio = a savage or something wild. John and Carol Bruno = a dark brown haired person. Mica = not too bad. Mary Giardino = a garden. Paul Bassis (some of you will like this one, sorry PB) = a rude, shallow, crazy and/or vulgar person. Fossi = a ditch. Marco = to sign your name.

A few celebrites:
Mario Battaglio = a battle. Christina Ricci = curls. Antonio Bustamonte = someone who loves breasts hahaha. Art Castello = a castle. Madonna = our lady. Arsenio Hall = the arsenal. Pinocchio = eyes made of pine. John Travolta = to pass the time. Frances Ford Cappola = the dome of a church.

Blessings:
- Rhiannon my roomate and her unusual form of Italian. She has been studying for 12 years and her Italian is quite good. I understand her very well because she speaks slowly, and with a very prominant Australian accent. Nice!

- MTV Italia. It only comes in to my TV occasionally. But But unlike the American version is still plays music most of the time. not many commercials and rarely game or reality shows. Another new favorite Italian singer is Jovanotti. I think he is awesome! check it out.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=3ZY3bm93Wk4
America are you ready for something new? I think it is time for the "Italian Invasion!". Like the British invasion of the late 60?s.

Curses:
- The wind again. it blew so hard the other day it blew all my little basil plants off the window ledge to crash 3 stories below. my neighbor did managed to save of few of them for me.

- Worsening brainflip! For example (per esempio). I like to (mi piace) write like I think (scrivero stesso pensavo). Io non prendo sbagli (i don't catch my mistakes) fast enough ( abbastanza veloce). ora (now). La mia testa po (my little brain) is not fast enough (e non abbastanza veloce). perhaps soon (forse presto). Ho desidero (i hope). SEE WHAT I MEAN!!!

Sunday was the hottest day we have had here since my arrival. Rhiannon, Juli and I took a long hike about 3 miles to a swimming area. We walked and walked till we found the beach called "Divers Paradise". The beach was only 30 feet wide but we were the only ones on it. I had not intended to swim because Antonio had told me it takes 2 weeks of warm weather before the water starts to warm up enough to swim. But after traversing hill after rocky hill in the heat. I stripped down and got wet. I ended up having too much of a day (troppo oggi). too much heat (troppo caldo), too much walking (troppo piaggio), too much sun (troppo sole), too much pizza (troppo pizza), and too much ice cream! (troppo gelato!). I am feelin the pain today, yikes.

I think that despite all the exercise I am getting I may have gained a few pounds. I am going to have to get stronger and better at saying no, NO! NON GRAZIE! But some people just don't take non grazie for an answer lol lol.

basta per ora (enough for now). love you all!

Finally A Few Pictures!!!

I will be inserting a few pictures into past posts over the next days to help illustrate them a little better too. Here i am on the south coast of Italy south of Otanto.

scan down to see more images. It was a MAJOR hassle to figure out and do, but I did it. It will be easier now. Below is a photo of Agnes and I, at the Bauxite mine just outside Otranto.

The Swallows Return to the South of Italy

One of the fond memories I have from my childhood in Southern California was the annual return of the swallows to the mission San Juan Capistrano. There was much anticipation and large crowds of birdwatchers would gather with their binoculars to witness this event every year. I was always amazed that somehow the birds knew what day they were expected to arrive. This did not seem to depend on the weather... but the calendar. There was always much pointing and cheering when the first bird appeared and the television news always had the story and featured the birds. It was very similar to my amazement regarding the salmon and their struggle home to the very stream of their birth.

During my visit to Italy last year i could not help but notice the swallows with the massive numbers and cacophony of sound that accompanied them. Every photo i took of the towns and landscapes included them lol. It was very obvious to me that they had not yet arrived from their wintering grounds in South Africa, when i got here to Otranto this spring.

Yesterday I noticed for the first time that groups of 20-30 birds had begun to arrive. They are not the little brown species that come to southern California. They are a little bit bigger, black with a little white on belly and open wing and a long sharply forked tail. They fly feed and sing day and night. but are especially active in the morning and evening when they ring the church bells. So i imagined that they nest pretty regularly in the bell towers of the churches. Welcome back little friends. Maybe some day i will follow your path of migration to Southern Africa. Or at least follow your habit of migration from northern California in the summer and fall to southern italy in the winter and spring.

speaking of Africa...some new friends from Brindisi, said they were going on a trip to Morocco. They said that it was a very inexpensive excursion from southern Italy. Just a short flight over the Mediterranean (middle-earth) Sea. They said that accomodations were good and inexpensive and the only thing they needed was to find a driver to tour them around.

Blessings:
- Not only have the cooking classes been awesome beyond belief, but the resulting foods keep finding their way back to our apartment where my roomates and I have been taking to the habit of having little dinner parties. We have added cheeses, breads, wines and pastries to the mix as well. HEAVENLY! Forget the diets damnit. Ill drop the kg's later lol lol.

- The local supermercato! where the nice people and personal service is beyond the call of duty and makes our own supermarkets seem impersonal and overly commercial. They managed to get for me the incredible mushrooms i wanted!

- Fughi Grifola frondosa and Enzo's sister Teresa who showed me how to prepare them (and eat them lol). They look like a giant brown rose and i think may be related to the Chanterelle.



i have never seen mushrooms like this offered for sale in the USA. I will look for them or maybe some day... try to grow them myself. Maybe they are available4 through "Fungi Perfecti."

Curses:
- Agnes (France) left for home this morning. I will miss her so much because she is such beautiful, intelligent, kind and sweet woman. she has made this experience so much richer and more fun. We have exchanged contact information and I VOW I will stay in touch and even visit with Agnes in Brive, France the future. Besides she lives very near the incredible caves with the ancient cave paintings that inspired the "Clan of the Cave Bears" series of books by Jean Auel. A must see!

- La Mia Tre Figlie Senza Ricci! One of my assignments this week was to write a description of my 3 daughters. This is always a pleasure but after we read our descriptions aloud to the class we were expected to answer questions! "BOH!" lol lol. The classes and all of my fellow students seemed surprised and very sad for me that all three of my children were "senza ricci" or without curly hair. I always thought this was strange too since both of my parents have curly hair.

okay enough for now.. i have the next next two Blog updates outlined already... but... i need to spend more time studying. so i may have to update every three days or four instead of every other day.

Have fun in British Columbia my friend Georje! The Great Bear Rainforest has been on my list of dream vacations for many many years.

love you all. later on.....

The Incredible Cracking and Expanding Brain

Ciao a tutti amici,
Regarding one of my language breakthroughs. I wanted to explain to those of you whom have never studied language, a little bit about the first huge barrier I have finally overcome to learning this language. Just to get started, you have to learn the determinative article "the" and the indeterminative article "a". Unlike the English language with one of each, in Italian there are 6 forms of "the" and 7 forms of "a".


This is determined by the first and last letters in each word being used. The first and last letter determine whether the word is a masculine singular, masculine plural, feminine singular, feminine plural, or one of the (damned and double damned) exceptions to those 4. lol


Just to give you an example the masculine singular word ends with and "O" and the masculine plural word ends in an "I". if the masculine word starts with a vowel "the" or "a" changes. And if the masculine word starts with a p+n, p+s, g+n, s+ any consonant, or X, Y, or Z "then it changes to another form. SEE WHAT I MEAN! even though i am starting to understand this principle my poor little hard-nut brain does not process it fast enough to speak it. I can read and write it and I can understand when other people speak it. I just keep telling myself... "it's okay little hard nut-brain, you will grow up to be a big hard-nut brain someday.


I think one of the factors involved in my brain struggle to overcome this barrier is that i am a little bit of a feminist and want to resist the absolute separation of genders to discourage disparity. Maybe it would help me to stop thinking of my brain as a little hard nut that needs to be cracked and start thinking of it as a baby hermit crab that needs to find a larger shell to crawl into.


Then maybe, just maybe i will be able to move into the higher and larger intellect needed for this language shift. Yes little baby hermit crab brained english speakers... The Italian intellect is much bigger and faster than our own. This is why the Pope (Papa in Italian) can speak 15 languages! http://www.nature.com/neuro/journal/v3/n1/full/nn0100_91.html


So how many of you knew what the grammatic terms "determinate and indeterminate article" meant before reading this? hmmmmm? hehehehehe. I am pleased and at the same time dreading the fact that once this uncomfortable process of brain cracking and expansion is through, i will have to do it again and again and may eventually become addicted to it!


Blessings:
- my roomate Agnes (pronounced Ah-nees with a silent g) again for loaning me her French to English textbook "Bridges". This text shows me the way the French teach their children about American culture and language. A real eye-opener (and brain expander too). It would take 10 pages of text to explain this. Instead you should read all the lyrics of Ben Harper and Speeches of Martin Luther King.

- All three of my children for putting together my wardrobe for this adventure. My wardrobe is both comfortable and acceptably stylish to the Italians. I get complements and nods of approval all day long. I am especially thankful for the black leather boots that were given to me by my daughter Christen. they are my only really stylish and comfortable walking shoes. i just pray they hold up to the pounding they are getting for this whole Italian expansion period.

- my language teacher Stefani for her perserverance, fortitude and tool box (of bombs, hammers and pick axes) that have helped transform my brain from a little hard nut-brain into a baby hermit crab brain. lol



Curses:
- another headache. with all this brain cracking and expanding i am getting even worse about misplacing my keys, change purse, glasses and passport!

- i have picked up another stray dog. ooooh noooo. but this one is more like a hungry coyote and less like a flirty little fox. He lurked for days before approaching me yesterday. He asked me to help him write a letter in english to a girl he knows in England. He kept trying to touch me and i kept having to swat him away. he asked me to have a coffee with him and then followed me home. I had to dart into the grocery store even though i needed no groceries. I spent a very long time picking out a very few unneeded items. When i came out he was gone.


This one scares me folks.


I am finally learning not to panic when the vegetable truck with it's too loud PA system passes screaming "FRAGOLI FRAGOLI!!, CACIOFFI CACIOFFI!!" No it's not bombs dropping and i do not have to run for my life or jump under a table. It's just a sale on strawberries and artichokes ha ha ha.


Is that a piece of my brain on the floor under the table? It must be the piece that remembers to take my glasses with me to school. What a relief I found it!

i have a new response to questions that is better than a blank stare and fits right in to the local methods of expression.

When a question is asked: First a very loud "BOH!" (sound of exasperation, accompanied by slapping the forehead), then "No lo so!" ("i don't know" accompanied by hands flying up in the air), then "mi dispiace" ("i am sorry" accompanied by hands going to my chest in a sign of sincerity) and finally "La mia testa é duro-noce! ("my head is nut hard" accompanied by pointing at my head and shaking it from side to side). it is perfect. I was afraid that my sense of humor would not translate to Italian... but from all the laughs i get, now I think my humor improves in Italian ha ha ha ha.

basta per ora (enough for now). love you all!

Finding Equalibrium

ciao a tutti amici,


I have finally found a place of some equalibrium. This is very important for a libran like me.


I am no longer having stomach pains all the time since I figured out what, when and how much to eat. I have had no more bruised and blistered feet, since I figured out how far and how long to walk. I have had no more headaches, since I figured out when and how much sleep i need, and I have had no weight gains (yet!) since i found a balance of the first three essential needs.

I have to stay vigilant though.

It would be very easy to gain weight here with all the seductive pastries, breads, pastas and wines that are tempting me at every turn. I am limiting myself to just one of each per day hahahaha. A saving grace is that my apartment is up a small hill and 4 flights of stairs. I come home at least 3 times a day and i am usually out of breath with heart pounding when i get in the door. Especially if i have my heavy book bag and/or groceries i am carrying.


i am starting to make some progress in my Italian grammar lessons. My head has been a really tough nut to crack. One of my teachers says... "ho bisogno la bomba per la mia testa duro-noce" ( i need a bomb for my hard nut-brain). I am very happy to say that in the past two days i have had some real breakthroughs in understanding in the hardest concepts i have to learn. a side note to this is... i am learning more about linguistics in general than i ever thought i would learn. Maybe, just maybe, i will be able to go back to the German i tried to grasp in high school. Why not French too eh? I will be going to France as well as Italy next year, to visit Agnes in her village, and maybe Schmurk and CC too eh?

my friend Zeni does a rendition of Antonio (la mia amica Zeni fa una resa di Antonio).

Blessings:
- Zeni's rendition of Antonio.
- a new roomate. Rhiannon from Australia. Another beauty!
- being the comic relief for my fellow students and teachers. They would not let me do my homework last night! they insisted on taking me out for a big expensive meal, getting me very drunk, and laughing at me for hours. I'm glad i can be of service lol lol.
- Jeff and Alberta, for their tour of the south coast and for being comic relief for me.
- Italian television and its help with the language. I especially love the cooking shows of course and the music shows. Some of my new musical favorites inc. the Blue Willies (yowza!), Gianluca Grignani, Diego and Leuca, Biagio Antonacci.
- Albanian sunrises. the albanian coastal mountains usually have stormy weather making some of the the sunrises full of color and refracted light.
- African sunsets. Jeff says that the sunsets here are so colorful (blue, purple, red, orange, gold, yellow) because the wind blows dust and sand here from the sahara dessert.
- roosters crowing at sunrise. i know this seems like something all too common. But as a child living in the city I would dream of living on a farm. When i moved to the country i grew to love the sound of roosters crowing. there is a rooster nearby who greets the morning making me feel very much at home. One of the reasons i made the decision to leave my ex-husband was because he made me kill my rooster.. cause it interrupted his sleep.

Curses:
- the sidewalks. they are very narrow, discontinuous, off the level and when it rains they turn to raingutters. You have to use them or you get run over! If they are wider people tend to park on them.
- Brainflip. My thoughts are flipping back and forth from English to Italian and from Italian to english. add a little french and german to the mix and chaos ensues.
- The barriers that still exist between me being able to speak this beautiful language well. I am reading and writing very well. I am beginning to understand most of what i hear too. But when someone asks me a question... my mind darts around trying to compose an answer... then it goes blank! i usually think of what to say 10-15 minutes later, when it is too late. I am searching for the way around this barrier.

I want to offer my condolences to my italian friends for the results of the recent presidential elections. The new/old presidente Berlusconi is the Italian version of George Bush. yikes. he won the election using fear tactics and his ownership of the network television stations.

basta per ora (enough for now).
my love to all.

Amalfi Coast of the South

Ciao a tutti amici,

Yesterday my friend Jeff from Ohio http://jeffinitaly.com/ who lives in Brindisi a town about 45 minutes north, and his italian girlfriend Alberta came to Otranto. Jeff is the first American I have seen since arriving in Europe. yall are missing the boat. Jeff and Alberta took my roomate Agnes and I on a tour of the coast south of Otranto. This is the first time I have had a chance to see anything out of walking distance of Otranto since my arrival. We had a great time. First we stopped at the local abandoned bauxite mine. It was amazingly beautiful for a scar cut into the surface of the earth. The soil was a very bright red and the erosion in the surrounding slopes was extensive. The beauty was in the healing process. The hole dug had turned into a nice lake. This is the first lake i have seen anywhere in Italy. Then the flowers that were blooming in great abundance on the slopes, made the whole place appear to be one big floral arrangement. many flowers i have never seen before. wow. then we drove for several hours along the coast stopping in several breathtaking spots to take pictures. Jeff kept refferring to this part of the coast as the Amalfi of the south. I think it was even more beautiful than the Amalfi coast mainly because it is sparsley inhabited... very wild and mostly untarnished by development.
Unlike the amalfi which is wall to wall villages. I had a great time with Jeff, Alberta and Agnes. They are fun fun funny people. I laughed and laughed at them while gasping and gasping over the beauty of the landscapes.

next week i will be getting a laptop from Enzo and i should finally be able to post a few of my pictures. I will probably try to put a couple dozen in my photobucket gallery and put up a link to them here. i cannot imagine trying to pick one or two favorites from the 500 i have taken so far to share with you all here.


Well, I do not know what i did, but Antonio (my date, remember?) has been avoiding me lol.

Mi dispiace, senza sapere basta la cultura qui, ay ay. (I'm sorry, I don't have enough knowledge of the culture here, ay ay.) He followed me around like a stray dog the first 10 days i was here. He asked me out 3 times and i said... no. no. no. he is such a beautiful man. like a young Richard Gere but even foxier. i was feeling very lonely and so i agreed the 4th time he asked. we went for drinks and a walk at the port. we had a great time because he knew a little english and i a little italian. it was fun fun finding the middle ground and we laughed and laughed. maybe i offended him when i did not ask him to go home with me. or maybe it was the fact i did not offer him my phone number. oh wait... maybe it was because i picked up all the trash around his car and piled it into the floor in the front seat... and asked him to throw it into the dumpster for me lol lol. anyway i saw him yesterday for the first time since our date. our eyes met for a split second across the park and poof! he disappeared... into thin air... like magic! i blinked and he was gone. i could see no way he could have walked away... or have hidden behind something.

HEY WAIT A MINUTE. maybe he was that fox! oh well it's no big deal to me. but i cant help but hear that song when i think of him. "I'm just a giggolo and everybody knows. people know the cards i'm playing..." it was fun. maybe if i go on another date... i will not pick up the trash hehehehe.

Speaking of stray dogs, i have a favorite now. A large female german shepard cross that lives in the park. she is very cute with these big sad brown eyes. i have been taking all my scraps to her and now she greets me with much affection.

enough for now... love you all, buona sera

Il Corso di Cucina

ciao a tutti amici,

This week i have been attending cooking classes! This has been one of the best experiences of my life. I have been soaking the cooking techniques and recipes like a sponge. I sit breathless in ecstatic wonder the entire time. For both the classes and the cooking shows that are on TV in the afternoon. I have written a dozen or more pages of recipes that i intend to share with my friends and community upon my return to the states. I was even voted best pasta maker in the class!! The students say i have a knack for making the pasta because of my curly hair hahaha. This is very good for me because i am by far the worst student of language in my class. The other students have been to classes before and have 2-5 years of studies in Italian behind them.
I have been thinking that maybe i will even give some Italian cooking workshops when i return. wow. Maybe i can earn some money for my return trip next year in this way. The only problem may be getting some of the more unique, unusual or maybe very expensive ingredients in the states.

Amazing, Quirky and Odd Things.

Here in Italy i am seeing extensive footage on the news of protests regarding Tibet in America, inc the banner hanging on the Golden Gate. awesome. The Italians love it when we make loud and radical protests. I am also seeing extensive footage of the war in Iraq.

There are at least 7 types of uniformed forces here in this very small (7000)town of Otranto. These include, the local police, the military, the coast guard, the forest service, the fish and game and the most numerous and common by far is the Guardia di Finanza. The Guardians of Finance i guess equate to the IRS. They run around in packs of 4-8 in special cars that are bright colors with lights and all. One amazing factoid is... that the major clothing design house Versace has the contract to designand produce get the uniforms and they are very sharp.

The wild life here seems less fearful of people. The birds approach me fearlessly for handouts and i was approached by a fox the other day. I could swear it smiled and winked at me. It must have been a male. They
Blessings:
- The poppies are beginning to bloom in mass. They are the most vivid crimson i have ever seen.
- The flower market on Wednesday in the central park. There are many many flower growers, the competition makes the prices very very low. I bought a dozen roses for .70 cents.
- The windless days.
- Making pasta!!! best in class.
- La palomi (the doves)
- getting discounts from the merchants now.
Cappuccino 1/2 price and bottled water 1/3 price etc. I have been trying hard to give the Italians a good/better opinion of Americans. No, we are not all fat, ugly, stupid and arrogant. We can be gracious, intelligent, sweet and pretty too. hehehe. I think the merchants that are getting to know me like me very much. plus they can see how hard i am trying to learn their language and respect their culture.
Curses:
- Being the weakest student in the class despite working sooooo hard. There are concepts that my hard head refuses to accept. For example: Machines are feminine and flowers are masculine. The sea and fashion is masculine as well. sheeeesh will i ever get it. In English: we talk, you talk, they talk, he talks, she talks. In Italian... parli, parlo, parla, parlato, parlammo, parliamo, parliate etc...
- the windy days.

I am praying for my Homesteader friends back home who are now in the fight of their lives. I have much faith in your strength to overcome this challenge. I also believe you will all teach the politicians a thing or two in the process! Thanks to Kim Sallaway for the information and the images of this struggle.

Are you out there reading this my Humbold friends? i have not heard from you on my blog or by e-mail since i left home. give me a shout and let me know you are okay.

more soon, i love you all sooooo

Healing Dreams

ciao a tutti amici,

i have soooo much to say, and so little (or should i say such expensive) time at the internet cafe.

i have been having very powerful dreams this past week or so. they started out as very nightmarish dreams. i attributed this to my nightmarish experience travelling here. but no. i think it is something else. i have had spates of strong dreams in the past and i started writing them down. i even attended a dream class once trying to understand them and their intensity. i would find my dream journals years later and finally would understand their meanings and would have epiphanies because of them.

but the dream i had last night started out as a nightmare but turned into an empowering and healing dream. here goes:

i dreamed that i was on a team of people that was preparing for a trip to Mars. it was a scarry thought for me... going to Mars. I participated in interviews for the television news answering questions about the planned trip etc. I was very scared, but at some point in the dream i said to myself... dont be afraid, you have been to Mars before. I "remembered many monsters like dragons that were there, but I knew i would be safe because we had many ranger/warriors along with us that knew exactly how to deal with these beasts. One of the warriors that was coming along was my little brother Tony. okay. so in the dream i started to look forward with glee to the trip (and the dream) because i had Tony along.

My brother Tony died when he was 17 years old... 30 years ago.

when i woke up... i felt such happiness, because i think i now have 2 guardian angels along with me on this trip (So Italy equating to Mars?). One guardian angel being Enzo, on the material plane. and the other guardian angel is Tony in the spirit world plane. i have nothing to fear. and my fears have stopped me from doing so many many things in my life! i feel that i have very strong protection now and i can do almost anything my heart leads me to do!

Quirky, Amusing and Amazing things:
- News anchors here... the three major channels, all read the morning paper to you. zooming in on the photos and highlighted text. hahahaha.
- there is free garbage collection here. in many places around town there are dumpsters and recycling bins for paper, cardboard, tin, glass and aluminum. wow amazing!
- southern italians do "things" with their interior and exterior design that seem so... crafty, artistic and creative. you never seem a plainly painted or flately plastered wall!
- i smell different/better now. every part of me lol lol, skin, sweat, and everything else too. maybe it's the food or maybe the scents of flowers blooming and pastries baking.. that is on the winds. a big surprise for me wow. cool!

Blessings:
The dreams, spumanti (bellisima!), beautiful sunrises, lemon gelato mixed with lemoncello as an afternon apertif, slowly gaining in understanding of the language. my fellow students, Agnes and Christina(france), Julia (germany) and Bill (england). i am in love again and again.

Curses:
i still have not found a laundromat and i am washing my clothes in a tub and hanging them out.

Yesterday afternoon i went for a long hike with a few fellow students. we walked up a road/trail along a little "creek" into the country. ohhhh soooo beautiful this country. i found a tiny little house that was abandoned within a orchard of flowing fruit and olive trees. it even had an arbor that was covered with wisteria (glicine) preparing to bloom very big time soon. i started to have such amazing day dreams of the possibilities wow. my fellow students had to pull me away from it. I took lots of photos on the hike, but have yet to figure out how to post them using these confounding computers here at the cafe.

enough for now... later...

Oh Felice Giorno!, Oh Happy Day!

Ciao a tutti la mia Amici,

la mia manca valigia arivo questa oggi!! (my missing luggage arrived today). it took them just 12 days to sort it out and ship them to me. wow. in fairly good shape too. a few of my clothes at one end were damp and even beginning to mold a little. but the bag with the electronics in it was in perfect shape. nothing damaged or lost. its a good thing i was not on a 2 week vacation lol. i appreciate each item so much more now. and i have new italian clothes paid for by British Airways for my troubles.

I celebrated my happy day by going out for a nice lunch at a restaurant. i have been cooking at home to save money most of the time. i ate... some surprises hahaha. i am getting quite brave you know. i ordered antipasta salad of tomato and mozzarella then i had a risotto tutti il mare. some of the items in it I recognized like the muscles, calamari and octopus. a few things i have no idea what they were hahaha. i also had this big meatball in tomato sauce. but i tasted it and i think it was either goat or horse meat and i did not eat it. i fed it to the stray dogs in the park. after eating lunch i bought a lemon - strawberry gelato and sat in the park to write this.

check out this great video. it illustrates exactly why i love Italian so much. Chaos magic!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOo36FnSTqQ

i went to a political rally for Burlusconi in the park last night. the presidential election is next week here. one funny thing about the rally. people would cheer like crazy when the microphone would malfunction and shut the speaker up. lol lol it was hilarious.

as for the blessings and curses so far this week.

Blessings: the first really warm sunny day, today. my luggage of course inc my camera battery charger... so expect some photos here soon. another full night of sleep. a date with a beautiful Italian man, Antonio. a breathtakingly blue sea. a beautiful new french roomate. her name is Agnes. people in the park all singing together.

Curses: i can't think of any right now.

it is a good day in paradise. love you.

ciao amici,

i am starting to feel a little more at home and human today. i did finally get a reasonable amount of sleep the last 3 nights. i wanted to mention a few things that have caught my attention. some quirky little things, plus blessings and curses of the day. here goes:

Quirky things...

-the light switches and toilet flushes are quite differents here...use your imagination.
-you have a coin deposit on shopping carts.
-all women keep their maiden names when they marry.
-there is an amazingly small number of styles and color choices available in clothing. you can choose black, white, gray or maybe pink or green.
-there are 1$ 2$ coins also 2cent coins and pennies are half the size of usa. imagine that lol.
-they change plates for every type of food you have.. every type even if you have 9 types lol.
-food is very different here. things we would never eat. except... everyone eats french fries and drinks coca cola.

Blessings:
- i have a medevil castle next door and ancient ruins in the backyard.
-i rush home for lunch like eveyone else... but instead of eating a huge meal and sleep...
I watch Iron Chef Italia!! WOW i am taking notes and learning so many new recipes WOW!
- lost a few more pounds and i am looking very cute in my new italian clothes.
Curses:
-store hours are crazy. you never know when they will be open so getting what you need is...
hit or miss
-still no luggage, but i will sue British Airways for their poor treatment. they broke laws here and we the victims must make them pay. contacted my lawyer today to get that started.
-i am alone much of the time, (but i did just accept an invitation from a cute young man lol. a friend from myspace. thanks Maurizio i'll see you tomorrow.)

One thing for sure is this. all of this trouble and adversity is building my strength and confidence. i recommend to everyone to build your confidence... immerse yourself in a foreign culture, learn a new language and never fly with British Airways lol.

Is the world ready for a confident Mama Bear? Maybe the pope and the president should be worried hehehehe. I'll be in touch. please leave comments... so I know you are reading this and you love me okay? i need to feel connected.

ciao ciao

My Wild Heart

ciao a tutti mia amici,

i guess i got a little more sleep last night than i have since leaving home a week ago. 4 hours! all at once.. wow. I'm somewhat relieved and for that 4 hours sleep my brain gifted me with a poem. i'll share that with you now.

My Wild Heart

My wild heart... it wont listen to my head.
it just reels and flys, leaps and swells.
and often leaves me with a sense of dread.

My wild heart... it makes me sacrifice myself,
for the love of friends, family and the land.
it puts all logic away on the highest shelf out of reach.

My wild heart... sometimes it leaves me for a very long time.
visiting far places and even the stars.
i often feel that it's missing, or not even mine.

My wild heart... it seeks a warm place that is safe.
but in it's quest it ventures into danger.
leaving little torn-off and chewed off pieces behind.

My wild heart... will it ever settle down?
or will it just leave me for good one day,
to fly through the cosmos unfettered for eternity?

My wild heart... what would i do without it?
will i finally get a sense of balance and order?
Or will I just die of loneliness?

My wild heart... it's gone again have you seen it?
I hope it's not up there in another redwood tree.
I think i am getting too old to play this game of hide and seek.

My wild heart... if you find it will you hold on to it for me... please.